Gwyneth Paltrow Selling Toilet Paper and Enema Kits for the Holidays

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The newest line of products from Gwyneth Paltrow’s company Goop is raising a lot of eyebrows. If you ever wanted to spend $35 on toilet paper or over $100 on a coffee enema, though – they have you covered.

Seriously; the Holiday Gift Giving Guide for Goop’s website went live this weekend, and you will not believe the products that she is pushing people to buy.

gwyneth Paltrow arrives at the Stand Up to Cancer Benefit at Shrine in Los Angeles
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Can You Really Buy Toilet Paper and Enemas from Goop?

The short answer is yes, yes you can.

If you are concerned about where your toilet paper is made, how it is produced, or the materials that go into it, Goop has the solution. On the site, you can give the gift of “toilet paper with a conscience” and purchase the no. 2 Toilet Paper.

It will run you a staggering $34 for 24 rolls, but the notes on the sales page include a silky-smooth texture that is sure to feel great on your skin and chic packaging. Each roll comes wrapped in a dark floral paper.

The TP is made from 100% sustainable bamboo, and completely plastic-free.

The Coffee Enema No One Asked For

Last year, the gift-giving guide included a coffee enema product. Any guesses on how much it would run you if you wanted a fresh clean feeling on the inside and the outside?

The Goop-approved coffee enema kit was $135! It’s part of the line of products titled ‘Beauty and Wellness Detox Guide’, which also includes a $48 bottle of body scrub, a $68 bottle of detox oil (what does that even mean?), and $4,099 2-person sauna.

In the description for the enema, Goop acknowledges that you could go to a drug store and buy an enema kit or “10 or 20 dollars”, but the site claims that it releases “toxic fumes” by just opening the box, and it would “leech” toxic chemicals.

Sure. Okay.

What Else Can You Get with Gwyneth Paltrow’s Gift Guide This Year?

It’s always a fun game to see the outrageous things that the Goop website promotes during the gift-giving season. This year, they may have outdone themselves.

Want to spice up your romantic life a little bit? What about a “restraining arts kit” that includes rope, ties, and paddle, retailing for a shocking $1,350.

If you’re stumped on what to get your feline friend this year, try the Tuft + Paw Milo Cat Jungle Gym, which will run you nearly $950.

You can also purchase a connect four set in marble for $1,495, a set of gold handcuffs for $425 (and now we know too much about her personal life…), and a $55 lip balm.

The best of the best, however, is the set of Vram Gold Chrona Chandelier Earrings, which retail $45,200, or just $21,600 an earring. Maybe a little bit out of reach for the average consumer, but perhaps Santa has an unlimited budget?